'The Bachelor' recap: Sex, Lies, and Videotape

Act 6: The Firing Squad (is Shooting Blanks)

A sheepish-looking Jason emerges once again, this time to face the ''ladies'' he used and abused. (Side note: As Conan O'Brien once lamented, how much have we diluted the value of the standing ovation in America? Was it really necessary for the studio audience to jump to their feet in a frenzy of applause when Jason entered the room?) But no one really gives the Bachelor the business. Jillian refuses to grill Jason about why he didn't choose her, though she does disagree — politely, of course — with his BS excuse that he ''couldn't keep up'' with her. And she also takes him to task — again, politely — for gushing to the camera after kissing Melissa that he hadn't had a kiss like that in a really long time... even though the night before he was locking lips with her. Good for you, sweetie! Give him (polite) hell! He stutters an answer — ''I mean, I, what? I mean, all I can say is that is what I was really feeling.'' Though Jillian demurs, ''I'm just messing with you,'' she so isn't — and who can blame her? Naomi is equally sanguine, telling Jason, ''This wasn't meant to be, I can move on.''

And now, dear TV Watchers, we can all move on — to the most shocking, dramatic, and emotional mother-f'ing finale ever in the history of the entire universe. Hallelujah! After this tepid special, I am ready for some real drama. What about you, Bachelor fans? Did The Women Tell All live up to your expectations? And how will you manage to get through the next week without your head exploding from all the suspense? If you fell asleep waiting to hear from the ''ladies'' during tonight's bloated WTA special, then click on the video below for a look at the Lauren-Megan-Erica skirmish, which produced the night's biggest fireworks — though that isn't saying much. And once you're done posting here, head over to PopWatch for Chris Harrison's exclusive blog. This week, he takes on all the haters — you definitely don't want to miss it. Ok, rose-lovers, let's talk Bachelor!