'American Idol' recap: Relax, It's Just Six!

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Heck, even mild-mannered folkie Brooke White (who looked and sounded gorgeous tonight, even if her new single ''Hold Up My Heart'' would've sounded better on that stage with just the piano) rocks more convincingly than Adam.

Oh, and while I'm offering advice to Adam, can we discuss that crotch-grab during tonight's performance? Dude, I don't think that's what Kara meant when she said the show is looking for a ''package artist.''

Yeah, I went there. Maybe I shouldn't have? Well, then let me do something I should have done last night (but forgot in the wee small hours of the morning) and that's to offer letter grades of last night's performances. Yeah, I'm giving 'em out post-results, but voting trends have not affected these grades. Otherwise, why would the much-maligned Mishavonna be tied for head-of-the-class honors? Without further ado...

Allison Iraheta: B+
Mishavonna Henson: B+
Kris Allen: B
Jesse Langseth: B-
Megan Corkrey: B-
Adam Lambert: B-
Matt Breitzke: C
Kai Kalama: C-
Jasmine Murray: C- (though I ought to knock her down a grade for her ludicrous belief that she might've scored more votes than Adam)
Jeanine Vailes: D+
Matt Giraud: D
Nick Mitchell: F

And finally, my current tally (in no particular order) of the contestants who absolutely, positively deserve a chance to perform on March 5's Wild Card show: Anoop Desai, Ricky Braddy, Mishavonna Henson, Jesse Langseth, and Megan Corkrey. Contestants who didn't score a B- or higher over the last two weeks, or who looked like they wanted to kick someone in the shins while watching Adam's encore (hello, Matt G!), you're dismissed.

Speaking of Wild Cards and performances and voting and all that good stuff, if you have any big ideas about the latest week in Idol, and would like to be an Idolatry call-in guest, shoot an email to idolatry@ew.com, and be sure to include your daytime phone number.

What did you think of tonight's results show? Were you surprised to see Nick Mitchell playing his part all nice and obedient during the not unbelievably bad group performance of ''Closer''? Is it too late to have a special vote-off for Kai's dreadful white t-shirt emblazoned with a sparkly black necktie? Did anyone else notice Megan clapping out-of-time during Adam's number? And who are you hoping scores a Wild Card slot among Group 2's booted hopefuls?