The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
If the first two minutes don't scare the bejesus out of you, well, you're one cold fish. Based on the ghoulish true-life killing spree of Ed Gein (as was ''Psycho''), ''Chainsaw'' is about five kids who happen upon a house in the sweltering Texas badlands only to become fodder for a clan of cannibalistic freaks led by the power-tool-waving
bogeyman Leatherface. But back to those first two minutes: A narrator's ominous voice-over sets the scene. Then the screen goes black. Black for too long. Finally, split-second flashes of light from crime-scene photographers reveal glimpses of the carnage. Hold on tight. ''Chainsaw'' (look for New Line's remake next year) is one of the scariest movies of all time not because of its gore -- although there's plenty -- but because it feels like a documentary. One you shouldn't be watching.
SIGNATURE LINE ''Hey, Grampa, we're gonna let you have this one!''
HE'S IN IT? The narrator's voice belongs to none other than John Larroquette.
