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In terms of Orson, I have no goodwill left for him. Bree seems justified in divorcing him, even if her sneakiness with her assets is mean-spirited. Even during that scene where Orson sweetly recounted how he bought that Italian mask for Bree didn't make me feel much for him. If Orson does manage to stick around for next season, he'd better get a really good story line. Or, maybe, no story line. Maybe he can just be one of those guys on the street (like Wisteria Lane gays Bob and Lee, unfortunately) who just blends into the background and doesn't do anything. I'm bored with what his character does do — and how much screen time he gets — at this point.

Somehow, Lynette and Gaby had story lines that were weightier than Katherine's, Susan's, and Bree's, but they seemed less important to the show's overall arc. Lynette spent the hour trying to convince Tom, who was feeling ageism after trying to get back into the job market, not to get a facelift. Lynette's plan to deflate Tom's plastic surgery dreams — she over excitedly introduced him to a coworker of hers that had a very tragic facelift — was so very signature Lynette in its passive-aggressive and I-told-you-so way.

But then it was her heart-tugging speech that really got him to rethink cutting his face up: ''But I don't see your wrinkles, Tom,'' she said, sweetly, pointing at different wrinkles on his face. ''I see our whole life together. This is you worrying about how you're going to provide for us. This is Penny falling out of the tree house and breaking her arm. This is my cancer. These are the millions of laughs that got us through all those tough times. It's like a map of our marriage, and I don't wanna lose it.'' Awwww, now that's super touching. I never tire of how great of an actress Felicity Huffman is. She makes Lynette the most likable lady on the Lane.

Gaby, meanwhile, took her ungrateful (which is laughable, compared to Gaby herself) daughter Juanita to work at a soup kitchen and ran into an old friend, Fran, who had lost everything. Gaby, also in her signature way, couldn't figure out how Fran could fall so far. Drugs? Gambling? Drinking? In the episode's other touching-because-it's-so-true moment, Fran explained her predicament to Gaby: ''The truth is, we're all just an accident or a tumor or a bad investment away from standing in line for free soup.'' In my notes I take while watching, I just wrote, ''OMG, so true!'' after she said that.

Also, there were tons of great sound bites from the cast last night! Here are a handful of my favorites:

--Lynette, to Tom, after she over-complimented his old roommate about how youthful he looked: ''Okay, I went a little overboard. You know me — two margaritas and I need a muzzle.''

--Lynette, unsuccessfully working the anti-facelift angle with Tom: ''You don't need a facelift! What if I went out and got a boob job and came home with big, giant, sideshow boobs — how would you like that?'' Tom's response: ''I'd learn to live with it somehow.''

--Bree, to Karl just before breaking into her house: ''Wipe your feet first — I just had the carpets cleaned. Just because we're thieves doesn't mean we need to be untidy.''

--Karl, to Bree, who was rearranging knick-knacks on her mantle while robbing her house: ''This place has to look like it was ransacked by robbers — not someone's personal shopper!''

— Bree, to Karl, while robbing her house: ''You want to be a Neanderthal, Karl, that's your choice. I prefer to behave with class and dignity. Now, may we please finish robbing my home?''

— Jackson, after Susan asks if he can tell the girls about why she's really marrying him: ''No way! I mean, they don't call her Gaby for nothing.''

— Susan, after Jackson complains about having to be deported: ''It's Canada — not Iran. It's like America with free health insurance!''

— Gaby, after the priest at the soup kitchen assumes she'll be lending a hand along with her daughter Juanita: ''Oh, me? No, no, not me. I'm not really dressed for ladeling. But, um, I could stand by the condiment bar and spritz people with my Chanel.''

What about you, Desperate TV Watchers? How'd you feel about this episode? Are you excited for the finale? What are your predictions? Will M.J. really die?

Are Orson and Bree going to go through with the divorce? Will Lynette's cancer really flare back up? (I hope not!)

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Originally posted May 11, 2009
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