''A prize model on The Price Is Right is not just an audition — it's a career!'' — Deb (Brooke D'Orsay), stressing the importance of her upcoming game-show tryout, on Drop Dead Diva
''Pipe down, English muffin!'' — Mary Murphy, to fellow judge Nigel Lythgoe, on So You Think You Can Dance
''A new study shows that survivors of the 1918 flu pandemic are immune to the swine flu. Which is great news — now we know that the cure for swine flu is being 110 years old.'' — Jimmy Fallon on Late Night
''Please step into your underwear and grab your toilet seat.'' — Julie Chen, giving instructions for another super-classy challenge, on Big Brother 11
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