'Big Brother' recap: Don't Make a Bleep

Okay, now let's get back to the final vote. Jordan and Laura and Laura's boobs decided to take charge of the game by booting Chima, and they seemed to have the numbers until Ronnie's nonsensical flip. (He seems to just revel in lying for the sake of lying, and thinking it's all strategy. I wonder if he ever announces, ''I'm off to the bathroom,'' and then just stands in the stall by himself, giggling, ''Those poor saps don't realize that I went 20 minutes ago and my bladder's empty!'') The big moment came when Julie asked the two nominees to stand and make one last plea to be saved. This is usually the most useless tradition of the show, because who ever says anything but, ''I love all you guys, and I really want to stay here to have more good times''? Well, Chima, that's who. After Braden announced that ''each and every one of you guys are incredible people,'' she stood and said, ''It amazes me how short some of the memory spans are, because my opponent here called…'' -- and here the volume briefly dipped, ostensibly from a CBS sensor shocked at Chima's ranty monologue -- ''So a vote for Braden is a vote for a bigot. Anyone who votes for a racist and a misogynist, you deserve to go home.'' Well, as campaign slogans go, it wasn't as concise as ''Yes, we can,'' but it did the trick.

It certainly made me reconsider Braden, who had been carefully edited to appear like a harmless kooky surfer. What exactly did he say that was not only racist, but so racist that it had to be bleeped out when repeated by Chima? It all seems at odds with his laconic, Zen surfer image. I now picture him coming out of the water after a day on the waves, turning to his friend and saying, ''Pretty rad, dude. I'm just gonna crash out on the sand for a while, mellow out, and think about why I don't like Mexicans.'' I guess nobody ever said that all racists had to be go-getters. (Friday afternoon addendum: Well, thanks to many commenters, the mystery of Braden the Racist has been revealed to me. I just watched the YouTube clip of him calling Kevin a ''beaner.'' (And considering Kevin is not Mexican, this is not just racist, but inaccurately racist.) Anyway, this clip not only confirms that Braden isn't the easygoing all-is-love surfer dude who was presented to us, but it also raises the question of why the producers cut out the outburst. Why were they so invested in maintaining his likable image? Leaving it out was unfair: it just made Lydia and Chima's explosions look deluded and crazy. They have done many deluded and crazy things on the show, but getting pissed at Braden wasn't necessarily one of them.)

So now he's gone and Chima remains alive to cry about her cold shower and pine to be part of the Popular clique another day. Her teammate Ronnie won HOH in the most obvious challenge ever: Players had to guess which clique a majority of CBS.com surfers picked when posed with questions like, ''Which clique would most likely bail on the prom?'' The questions were so cliched that even if you'd never watched the show, you would probably join the majority opinion just by having watched one John Hughes movie 20 years ago. Anyway, Ronnie's victory means we're due for endless useless double reversals that will ultimately end in him alienating the entire champ. But hey, he is National Champion at Incomprehensible Strategy.

What did you think of the first full week? Do you think Russell can make it far in this game, or has he established himself as too dangerous a meathead? (And would you dare invent a word around him?) And what of Ronnie? Is there a chance he could win this, or will he find himself back in front of his Xbox before he knows it? Before you answer these questions, brace yourself: Julie Chen's EW.com blog has begun! You're gonna want to check this out: Not only does the sparkliest host on TV give her honest thoughts about the housemates, but she comes clean about what it's like to be the Chenbot. ''But first'' indeed!

And one last announcement before we get to the commenting: I've started cohosting EW.com's Must List Live! with Dalton Ross, in which we debate what's hot in pop culture every week. For our first week, we debated none other than Big Brother 11. Why? Because we have our priorities straight. Enjoy!