''What is it with everyone and their questions this morning? 'Where'd you learn to drive?' 'Will you marry me?' 'Why would you say that to my baby?''' — Veronica (Portia de Rossi) on Better Off Ted
''[My character in G-FORCE] trains guinea pigs how to do special ops for the government. It's just like the Off Broadway play.'' — Zach Galifianakis, promoting G-FORCE, on The Tonight Show
''[We] were talking about how dangerous drugs are, and how you shouldn't do them, unless you're old, depressed, need a pick-me-up, want to feel invincible...or are just bored.'' — Michael Showalter on Michael & Michael Have Issues
''Some guardian angel! How could you let them screw up my obituary?'' — Jane (Brooke Elliott), to her guardian angel after the newspaper paired her obit with a pic of a really old lady, on Drop Dead Diva
''You weren't on any damn gay cruise. And if you were, you woulda come back with more pizzazz, not less!'' — Det. Andy Bellefleur (Chris Bauer), interrogating Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis), on True Blood
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