''Raising three kids is a lot for Katherine Jackson — she's 79 years old. At that age, she should be knitting a blanket — not raising one.'' — Jimmy Kimmel on Jimmy Kimmel Live!
''We could cuddle if you like. Just don't freak out if I look...dead.'' — Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll), to Hoyt (Jim Parrack), on True Blood
''Oh my God, I would set you on fire if you were my mother.'' — Michael, rebuffing aggressively nurturing Melissa, on The Next Food Network Star
''There's a new iPhone app called 'Passion.' The iPhone rates users on how good they are at sex. This is how it works: If you have your iPhone out during sex — you're 'not good' at it.'' — Jimmy Fallon on Late Night
''The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. And his pants. But you go for the stomach first, because that's what classy women do.'' — Bonnie, describing her dating strategy, on More to Love
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