'Big Brother' recap: Power to the People

Okay, so Natalie and her mane (is it against tae kwon do rules to get a hair trim?) stayed which means the hinted–at Caligula alliance might have gotten a bit stronger. They've got Chima, Natalie, and probably new Head of Household Michele, who seems like she'd be swayed by a lab rat that paid any attention to her. Which means that some combination of Lydia, Kevin, Russell, Jordan, and Jeff will be on the block come Sunday.

Judging from Chima's sway with her army of women (is she hypnotizing them with her copious amounts of lipgloss?), my guess is she'll go after Jeff for daring to use the coup d'etat that any halfway decent player would have used. Really, Chima? You're going to go on a game and then get mad at people for playing the game? Acting like the sorest of losers after the eviction, she wouldn't even tolerate the sound of Jeff's voice, instead choosing to show insincere concern for a weepy Lydia. My favorite moment was when Chima tried to bust Jeff for having exposed his power (and how exactly did he expose it?) by saying ''Looks like me and the producers need to have a little talk.'' Yes, I'm sure the Big Brother producers were quaking in their comfortable control rooms. If Chima's threat is true, we'll be seeing her go ''wild animal style'' on Jeff this week. That is, if she doesn't recommit herself to ''dancing on [Russell's] grave.'' Poor Chima's grandmother. I have a feeling someone is not going to be representing the family all too favorably this week.

My guess — and I'm no Big Brother expert like Ronnie — is that Michele will put up Jeff and Jordan, claiming she has to break up their alliance, and then try to backdoor Russell. Kevin bought himself another week by not vetoing Chima's nominations and Lydia might be a powerful ally due to her double x chromosomes. Of course, the real threat then lies with Russell winning the power of veto and then one of our non-lovebirds (Jeff, most likely) will have to fly the coop. It's funny. They're not overly endearing, intelligent, or even particularly wonderful to look at, but for some reason I've come to really like Jordan and Jeff together and I'd be genuinely sad to see one of them go home.

Who do you want to see evicted this week? Did Jessie have a shot of winning anyway? Will the women take over the house? And did Julie Chen look unnervingly like a knocked-up Minnie Mouse? Tell me your thoughts. And before you send in your rants about this week's recap, just know that Josh ''The man the myth the legend'' Wolk will be back next week.