'American Idol' recap: Skin Show!

Share this article

• Tweet

Image credit: Fox

READY FOR KICKOFF

Football player Austin Paul didn't even get to take his shirt off

All About

American Idol

Get the latest photos, news, and more

And anyway, if a male auditioner was going to be treated like a side of premium angus, shouldn't it have been ''long-snapper'' Austin Paul? [Sidebar: Is that a real football position, or did dude just pick a random, sexually suggestive term and try to pass it off as sports lingo?] Seriously, the guy came strutting in all confident-like, massaging his own pecs in his tight gray T-shirt, smirking and singing ''Bigger Than My Body'' in a voice that alternated between ''half-drunk college glee-squad member'' and ''tiny girl singing into fan.'' And even after getting knocked down a few pegs by Victoria even (who said his singing made her feel ''itchy''), Austin still insisted he could be a star. Kara was right when she insisted ''a guy like you needs to be a little less confident,'' even if she delivered her vitriol with a little too much enthusiasm to come off as completely above the fray.

But here are my burning questions: Why don't Idol's producers allow us more opportunities to see this type of failed audition — from a guy who's neither crazy talented, nor completely awful? Why is it that the show so rarely gives the full evisceration package to someone who's traditionally attractive? Isn't it funnier to burst the bubble of a cocky egoist, rather than a trembling innocent?

So rarely do the show's now maddeningly predictable audition telecasts strike the correct balance of talent-to-trash, of funny-to-touching, of stark-to-gray, that I'm always a little impressed when the producers take me by surprise and make me laugh. That happened in tonight's final moments — not because the sight of Ty Hemmerling in a bikini was a thing of hilarity, but because of Simon's succinct and spot-on response. The minute Ty arrived, stone-faced and threatening to break out the Billy Ray Cyrus, the cranky British judge let out an expletive, then stood, headed for the exit, and huffed, ''I'm going back to Los Angeles.''

Where you go, Simon, we shall follow. On to Hollywood Week!

What did you think of tonight's show? Were you impressed by any of the Golden Ticket receivers? How did you feel about Casey's strip-down? And how about Simon's remark that the runaway scat-man's performance was like ''having Paula back on the show''? Finally, were you surprised the producers showed Daughtry's audition without reminding us that Simon voted against sending the now multiplatinum superstar to Hollywood? Share your thoughts in the comments below, and do follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak. Oh, and finally, if you want to be a future Idolatry call-in guest (our latest episode is embedded below), shoot your name, phone number, and Idol discussion topic to Idolatry@ew.com!