And finally, with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, a poem to discuss tonight's three musical performances:
Twas the night of results show, when the kids tackled Wham!
Not a dance move was served sans a side of baked ham.
The shimmying guys moved down the steep stairs,
In hopes that the big prize soon would be theirs.
The children were passed out, their parents sipped bourbon
Whole families in conflict over young Tim Urban.
MamaSox in her dreadlocks, and I in my PJs,
Had flashbacks to year 1, with contestants named EJay
When out on the stage there arose such a clatter,
I sprang up from the couch to see what was the matter.
There at the piano a singer named Miley
Tore into a ballad, and plinked keys quite shyly.
The vines on the stage were like subtle remarks
To go see her new film writ by Nicholas Sparks
Her singing was neither success nor a flop
But I got slightly scared by her convulsive torso-drop
With a white mermaid gown, so cumberseome, yes!
She held up the top, with her hand to her chest
As she growled a ''Thank you,'' her skin looked quite ocher
The voice of a waitress, three-pack-a-day smoker
Now Demi! Lovato! Now Joe Jonas Brother!
You kids sing a ballad! Oh word to your mothers!
To the top of your ranges! Now get all histrionic!
The girl-bot is shrieking, and she looks quite demonic!
As Mack trucks that down a six-lane highway do fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, crush it thereby.
So noisily shrill became these two performers
They sing about butterflies, but sound like Transformers.
What did you think of tonight's show? Were you okay with Paige's elimination? If not, who should have gone in her place? What did you think of the night's musical ''entertainment''? And did you miss having the presence of a former Idol contestant to come rock the Idoldome? Sound off in the comments below, but before you do, don't forget to follow me on Twitter @EWMichaelSlezak and do watch the episode of Idolatry embedded below!
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