For the past two weeks, I've been trying to harness the energies of my magnificently big and thought-throbbing brain to crunch a theory that describes Lost as an allegory for addiction recovery, or more precisely, how the Lost narrative uses the process of addiction recovery as a template for the process of character redemption. Yes, I know: HolyEffingWOW! Enjoy that one with your coffee and tuna, friends! But alas! My efforts to complete this monumental piece of (horribly misguided?) profundity have been consistently thwarted by developments in this alleged place that's been described to me as ''the real world,'' involving something characterized as ''the actual show that is Lost, not the intellectual chew toy that you mistake for Lost and only exists inside the rancid puppy mill of your mind.'' (People actually say these things to me. Out loud! So hurtful.)
Last week, my derailment was caused by the release of the Lost ''Last Supper'' promo pics, which demanded that I drop everything and pick up my Bible and do something useful with it, i.e., applying its infinite wisdom toward decoding an ad for a TV show.
This past week, I was undermined by several factors:
1. Working with EW's Dan Snierson on finishing the Q&A with Terry O'Quinn and Michael Emerson that ran in last week's Entertainment Weekly print edition.
2. Huddling with the same Dan Snierson entity to brainstorm ideas for the new season of Totally Lost. Season premiere: Feb. 1. MARK IT ON YOUR CALENDARS NOW BEFORE YOU FORGET, AMERICA!
3. Covering the Lost event at the TCA Press Tour, where executive producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof announced that Harold Perrineau (freighter-roasted Michael) and Cynthia Watros (Michael-shot Libby) will be making return appearances during the last season.
4. Live-chatting with Washington Post Lost bloggers Liz and Jen. (Thanks for the invite!)
5. Experimenting with bold-face type.
6. Making sense of a major scoop that landed in my lap like a palette drop of cryptic yummyness from heaven.
(Switching to my killer 'Dying Yoda Talking To Luke' vocal impersonation):
Lost ''Last Supper'' Promo Picturrrrrrrrruhhhhhhpppllllt!*
[Yoda died. And then I farted.]
NEXT PAGE: Feast your eyes on the (until now!) secret third ''Supper'' image!