On Thursday night, I saw the next episode of Lost, ''What They Died For,'' which will air on Tuesday night. It screened as part of ''Lost Live,'' a really cool event produced by ABC that celebrated the music of Lost (composed by Up Oscar winner Michael Giacchino) and gave everyone involved in the Lost phenomenon producers, cast, and fans a chance to congregate and commune one last time before Damon and Carlton crank the donkey wheel one last notch and the show transfigures into a giant green Hurleybird and flies away on May 23. In the house at Royce Hall in the campus of UCLA: Josh Holloway (Sawyer), Jorge Garcia (Hurley), Daniel Dae Kim (Jin), Michael Emerson (Ben), Nestor Carbonell (Richard Alpert), Henry Ian Cusick (Desmond), Sonya Walger (Penny), Titus Welliver (the Man In Black), and a plethora of faces from the past, including Ian Somerhalder (Boone), Jeremy Davies (Faraday), Rebecca Mader (Charlotte), Lance Reddick (Matthew Abaddon), Kim Dickens (Cassidy), Sterling Beaumon (Young Ben), Harold Perrineau (Michael), and Malcolm David Kelley. (Waaaaaaaaaaaalt!) Also in the house: Superfans Karen (from Karen's Lost Notebook), Jo Garfein (from Get Lost with Jopinionated), Anil Kapur (The ODI), and many more. My Totally Lost co-host Dan Snierson was also there, and actually may still be there; the last time I saw him, he was at the after-party making a complete Frogurt of himself trying to cajole Gregg Nations into coughing up the secrets of the Dharma notebooks, chasing Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz around and demanding that they ''do funny stuff, dammit!'' and performing a one-man adaptation of ''Ab Aeterno'' for Elizabeth Sarnoff and Jack Bender that ended with him throwing black and white rocks at Bryan Burk and breaking a wine bottle over Kris White's head. And then he took off all his clothes. And he was sober, too! (I, on the other hand, was drunk and boring.)
But about ''What They Died For.'' Let me tell you everything that happens! SPOILER ALERT! Set in the year 79 B.C., this very special 104-minute epic, shot in black and white, has Jacob and the Man In Black arguing over the proper embalming of Mother's body. The West Wing's Bradley Whitford has an extended cameo as ''Uncle,'' Mother's wacky brother, who washes ashore claiming to only want to visit his long-lost nephews, but really he wants to exploit the Island's electromagnetic light so he can finance his dream of opening a chain of big-and-tall toga stores for men. Jacob and the Man In Black momentarily put aside their differences and team up to defeat, kill, and then strangely enough eat their evil, albeit tragically misunderstood, uncle. And then they dance. In the Sideways story, Jack's son David grows a mustache and then suddenly ''remembers'' that in his Island life, he was actually Aldo. Oh, and Damon and Carlton cameo as creepy clown magicians who arrogantly refuse to explain their tricks.
Then again, maybe I'm not remembering the episode correctly.
NEXT PAGE: Broad hints about what really happens in ''What They Died For''