''By 60 Minutes correspondent terms, I am a young man.'' — Alec Baldwin, talking about turning 50, on 60 Minutes
''Kevin Jonas got married, so now the only virgins left are the guys lining up for Avatar.'' — David Letterman on Late Show
''In Boston, a woman called the police because her 14-year-old son wouldn't stop playing Grand Theft Auto at 2:30 in the morning. Out of habit, the boy hit both cops with a baseball bat and then drove off in their car.'' — Conan O'Brien on The Tonight Show
''Babies are wonderful. I mean, teenagers are wonderful too. They're like old babies with braces.'' — New Christine (Emily Rutherfurd) on The New Adventures of Old Christine
