'The Bachelor' recap: Sextracurricular Activities

Throughout this lecture, Rozlyn remains oddly calm and quiet. Not for nothing, but if I were falsely accused of having an ''inappropriate relationship'' with someone, my first reaction would be ''That's not true!'', not ''So you think that there's no other girls here that felt for other people before they came on the show?'' Nor would I try the ''I don't think my personal life is really anybody's business'' defense, especially when I was currently engaged in seeking a husband on television. That said, there were cameras rolling, and she was no doubt shocked to be put on the spot, so maybe her apparent lack of surprise and weird equanimity were nothing more than a defense mechanism.

So was this fake drama dreamed up by producers, as some (including Rozlyn herself) have suggested? Or did it all happen exactly as it's been presented to the viewers? Given the vagueness of the term ''inappropriate,'' I'm guessing the answer is somewhere in the middle — something hinky went on, and it was exaggerated a bit for dramatic effect. And really, is that so surprising? Ten years into the reality TV craze, is there anyone out there who hasn't learned by now that the genre involves some degree of manipulation, of both participants and viewers? Okay, rant over. Let's move on.

Rozlyn and her Solid Gold dancer mini-dress are sent packing, literally, and while she's upstairs tossing her belongings into a suitcase (under the watchful eye of a burly crew member, who's waiting to escort her to the Reject Van), Harrison pulls Jake aside to tell him the bad news. Polite to a fault, the Bachelor holds it together despite being ''hurt'' and ''disappointed.'' Still, there's an edge of anger to his voice as he asks the host, ''Can I get my rose back?'' Oh, you know it, pal. Once he's recovered from the shock, Jake and Harrison arrive in the living room and drop the ''inappropriate relationship'' bomb on the ''ladies.'' A chorus of gasps greets the revelation — Michelle mouths something that looks like ''whore!'' — but the real weeping and gnashing of teeth doesn't begin until Jake himself breaks down. ''I feel kind of deceived... I'm just trying to pick myself up here,'' he tells the bachelorettes tearfully. This causes Tenley to have some kind of Vietnam-style flashback to the relationship drama in her own life. ''I think any deception now is hurtful,'' she says weepily, ''because it takes me back to a place of finding out that I had been so deceived by somebody I loved very, very much.''

Eventually, everyone pulls their s--- together, and Jake starts handing out roses. The roster only contains one big surprise — Michelle — though I'm a bit confused as to why he's choosing women like Valishia, Jessie, and Kathryn since we really haven't seen him talk much to any of them. Christina's inability to hold her liquor did her in, and I think Ashley's elimination was a simple case of zero chemistry. Now that it's over, I'd like to thank Rozlyn for providing us with some much-needed drama — I shudder to think how dull this season would have been so far without her! For more on Staffergate, be sure to check out Chris Harrison's exclusive Bachelor blog on PopWatch, where he promises to reveal ''how it all went down'' behind the scenes. But before you go, I want to hear your thoughts on tonight's ''explosive'' revelation. Are you glad Rozlyn got the boot? Do you think Jake will put up a wall to protect himself? And was it me, or were all the girls wearing the same pink lip gloss tonight? Okay, rose lovers, let's talk Bachelor!

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Originally posted Jan 11, 2010

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