On ABC's Castle, Nathan Fillion's police-assisting crime novelist has had to call in reinforcements (Fillion's former Desperate Housewives spouse, Dana Delany) to catch a serial killer in a two-parter that concludes March 29. We, however, went in solo to solve a few mysteries about the 39-year-old actor, armed only with our Stupid Questions.
Speaking about you, Joss Whedon once told EW, ''I honestly believe he's Harrison Ford, if given a shot.'' What then, if I may ask, is in that shot glass?
I'm more of a girl shot if it has the name of a soda pop or a slippery body part, that's more of a shot for me.
You once tweeted, ''General rule for meeting anyone not just me. Don't yell. Don't slap.'' How would you prefer I greet you next time?
I love meeting fans. But sometimes I think people get a little nervous. They don't know what to do or say, so they do or say something odd. One fella was slappin' me with every word he said. I finally pulled a kung fu block. I said, ''Man, we're about to throw down if you keep slapping me.''
On the April 12 Leno/Conan-inspired episode of Castle, Tom Bergeron plays a murdered talk-show host. Is that payback for him pointing you out in the audience at Dancing With the Stars?
Heck, no, I'm not upset about that. That's a bonus. He's a classy guy, so now I have an opportunity to return the favor. So far, he's been lying on a slab. He's very funny dead. I've said, ''You know what, I've seen a lot of your work. This is some of your best.''
Shockingly, you weren't in Jimmy Kimmel's Handsome Men's Club. Why was your membership blocked?
I can honestly say I've never sent Jimmy Kimmel a birthday present. That may have something to do with it. I'm on it now, though.
You appeared in an episode of Jim Belushi's Total Security titled ''Das Bootie.'' Can you think of two worse episode titles?
''Smack It Up, Rub It Down. Oh, No'' and ''Spider-Man 3.'' Too soon?
You were in the movie Slither. Admit it, you thought you'd signed on for something called Slytherin and that it was a Harry Potter sequel, didn't you?
Short answer: yes. Long answer: [Writer-director] James Gunn is a bastard.
Which house would you be in at Hogwarts?
[Without hesitation] Gryffindor. I took the test online.
In less than one year, you went from the cover of Geek Monthly to one of Cosmo's 2010 Fun Fearless Males. Frankly, that's just rude getting geeks' hopes up like that.
My mother's always told me, ''You are a geek. Your advantage is you look mainstream.''
For my 62-year-old mother, you are No. 3 on her list of favorite male celebrities, behind Jeff Goldblum and Johnny Depp. How do you plan on getting to No. 1?
Well, Jeff Goldblum is gonna die very soon, so.... Johnny Depp, he's my No. 1 I got no problem with that.
You realize you just killed Jeff Goldblum.
I didn't kill him. He's doing it to himself. He's got this sort of heart condition. It's chaos theory.