TV Article

Cranks and Beans

Casaya, one of the most eccentric ''Survivor'' tribes ever, continues to dysfunction; meanwhile, La Mina suffers, but not in silence, after choosing the wrong food reward

WHO PUT THE DAWG OUT? Bobby went home with his tail between his legs
Image credit: Bobby Mason: Monety Brinto
WHO PUT THE DAWG OUT? Bobby went home with his tail between his legs

''Survivor'': Casaya starts to lose it again

Hey, everyone. I'm writing this up last minute because Dalton Ross' VCR crapped out on him. (It probably ate too many half-cooked beans on an empty stomach.) I swear on Shane's kid that I'll try to do a good job. And that kind of promise always works out. Except, of course, when you're Bob Dawg. More on that later.

Since I'm so skilled at this — or, as Courtney said regarding the bottle of wine that Bob and Bruce pilfered, ''super special'' — I managed to record every last second of the poop patrol that ensued back at the La Mina camp after a reward challenge in which they chose to take home a bag of beans instead of rice. (In their malnourished haze, they must have forgotten that the more you eat, the more you toot — and that there are cameras everywhere.)

Speaking of which, that reward challenge was really funny. It seemed as if the entire scenario were really just a ploy to remind the castaways of how hungry they were. Here, take this rice. Just take it and run! And this huge sack of beans. And no, really, grab that fish. Go ahead, it's yours. Throw it! I almost expected Jeff to shout out, ''See, guys? It's easy to catch fish in Panama!'' They just have to be already dead and chilling out in a rowboat ten feet from shore. No biggie.

Even after hacking at those fish like a veteran Iron Chef, Bob Dawg got voted out by the rest of Casaya, a.k.a. the biggest bunch of nut jobs that ever existed. Earlier, Bruce built a ''Zen rock garden'' for no apparent reason. Aras suddenly went Dr. Phil on Bruce for making said garden instead of helping out with the chores. Courtney, who I would call Mother Earth if she weren't so generally off-putting, decided to do (gasp!) yoga at (gasp!) the Zen rock garden. I'm no fan of yoga or Courtney, but seriously, what did Bruce expect? He called it a ''Zen rock garden.'' Courtney's grease-magnet dreadlocks probably perked up at that phrase and yanked her carcass headfirst to the garden, powered by some sort of spiritual/magnetic/fire-dancing mojo. And I won't even get started on the complex nightmare that is Shane, or the son he thinks matters to anyone but him.

Danielle and Cirie had the right idea when they called Courtney over to rally against the guys and ''turn the game around.'' I was all for this, despite the involvement of Courtney. But I cannot comprehend why the girls would confide in Shane about their big plans. They should have voted him out — why not ask Bruce or Bobby to help them? The two oenophiles were already in the doghouse (and outhouse) together.

Instead, Bobby went down with a bang similar to the sound his giant chopper kept making against those fish. (That was awesome!) Danielle pulled a surprisingly sage move at tribal council by suggesting that, as an elder, Bruce deserved at least minimal respect. Cirie's doing pretty well with her act-like-you're-not-there strategy, and as long as Aras spends some quality time in the Zen rock garden (QT in the ZRG), he should be fine. I'm almost afraid for this tribe, but I'm still dying to watch the season unfold. With another relatively sane and calm tribemate out of the way, Casaya should continue on in its quest to go collectively bonkers.

What do you think? Was voting Bobby out more strategic than meets the eye? Was Courtney even entitled to super-special wine after sitting out during the challenge? Are you getting sick of seeing skulls this season? And was Terry's beanless exile a blessing in disguise?

Originally posted Mar 03, 2006
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