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Survivor

''Survivor''

Clip Down Memory Lame

The pretty young things ate maggots! Gross! But other than that ''behind the scenes'' fun tidbit -- and Heidi peeing with someone watching -- there was nothing exciting on this season's all-too-familiar clip show, says Dalton Ross

Jeanne Hebert, Survivor: The Amazon | KISS THE COOK Jeanne found that revenge is a dish best served with mold
Image credit: Jeanne Hebert: Monty Brinton
KISS THE COOK Jeanne found that revenge is a dish best served with mold

The pretty young things ate maggots! Gross!

Hey. Remember that time on ''Survivor'' when Ryan and Daniel couldn't get across the balance beam in the first immunity challenge? Of course you do, because they showed the whole thing over again last night! That's right, it was time for that traditional ''Survivor'' recap show, where we're forced to sit through an hour of previously aired clips just to take in a few scant unseen scenes and ousted contestant commentaries.

Of course maybe these updates are useful if you've missed a few episodes along the way, but as one reality TV addict speaking to another, who are we kidding? Not only have we all seen every installment, but we have them TiVOd and completely committed to memory.

Now, to be fair, some of the deleted scenes were pretty good (which I guess is to be expected considering how masterful this season has been). We got to see Jeanne serving up mold and maggots to the ''young and pretty'' girls, and watch Heidi weigh the pros and cons of going to the bathroom while under a pair of glowing eyes. (I'm guessing they belonged to that pervert Rob.) I was also satisfied to finally get confirmation that that weird bar across Heidi's teeth was in fact a retainer. (I'm guessing to scare that pervert Rob away.)

But other than that it was mostly one big case of deja view. I mean, I love Christy more than anything and hope she somehow takes home the million, but I didn't really need to spend a few minutes watching her teach sign language to that model of tolerance Roger. I also don't know how crazy I am about the way the entire show is edited so that the only thing we ever hear from Christy somehow relates to her being deaf.

She seems like an intelligent woman who has had to readjust her strategy several times due to former alliance partners being voted out, but because of the editing we NEVER hear her thoughts on this. I understand that Mark Burnett wants to play up the nonhearing angle, and the further she makes it, the better story it becomes, but come on, don't make her so one-dimensional.

Well, the good news is we've gotten the clip show out of the way and can now get back to the good stuff. Namely, backstabbing, bickering, and women with gargantuan breast implants disappearing before our very eyes. Game on!

Originally posted Apr 18, 2003