The Bullseye

The Bullseye: April 9, 2010

''True Blood,'' Chloë Sevigny, and Levi Johnston made pop culture news this week

HITS
· The promos for the upcoming season of True Blood: Waiting sucks, indeed.
· Sofia Vergara to play live-action character in the Smurfs movie; Smurfette responds by hiring a personal trainer, calling a therapist, and talking trash about Sofia Vergara.
· Taio Cruz's ''Break Your Heart'' is the early front-runner for song of the summer.
· It's-about-time news of the week: Christina Aguilera readies a new single; Dennis Hopper receives a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame; and Margaret Cho guest-stars on Ghost Whisperer.
· Pandora Boxx, in our hearts you are America's Next Drag Superstar... even if RuPaul doesn't think so.
· The subtle, bizarre charm of Old People News (a.k.a. CBS Sunday Morning); goes down as easy as a spoonful of Metamucil.

NEAR MISSES
· The Megan Mullally/Patton Oswalt feud would be more fun if it were actually Karen Walker versus the rat from Ratatouille.
· Tracy Morgan cast in movie with Al Pacino and Juliette Binoche. Surprisingly, this is not a 30 Rock plotline.
· Demi Moore shocked Kim Kardashian uses the term pimpin' on Twitter; we're still shocked we paid for a ticket to Striptease.
· Chloë Sevigny gets in hot water for saying exactly what we were all thinking about last season's Big Love.
· Hot Tub Time Machine would have done better at the box office if it had just been called Hot Tub.
· Liza Minnelli and Perez Hilton: Not sure why they are together, but now that they are, we never want them to be apart.

MISSES
· Rod Blagojevich: For the first time in nine seasons of The Apprentice, we're distracted by a head of hair that doesn't belong to Donald Trump.
· Levi Johnston takes meetings with TV networks in an RV. Unfortunately for Levi, he's already revealed the most interesting parts of himself.
· Cameron Diaz washes cars: We knew The Box bombed, but we didn't think things had gotten this bad.
· Katy Perry gets slimed at the Kids' Choice Awards: So this is how it feels to date Russell Brand!

Originally posted Apr 02, 2010 Published in issue #1097 Apr 09, 2010 Order article reprints
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