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Dancing With the Stars

''Bachelorette''

Three's a Crowd

Will it be Ryan, Russ, or Charlie? Jessica Shaw bids adieu to awful rapper Greg and speculates on who'll eventually get the girl

The Bachelorette: Trista, Trista Rehn | CHAMPAGNE DREAMS Russ is delusional if he thinks he's going to make it past the next round
Image credit: The Bachelorrette: Craig Sjodin
CHAMPAGNE DREAMS Russ is delusional if he thinks he's going to make it past the next round

Will it be Ryan, Russ, or Charlie?

Okay, let me get this straight. There's more than one guy of the remaining ''Bachelorette'' finalists who Trista could see herself marrying?

Let's take a moment and pretend that we haven't heard 10 gazillion rumors that our leading lady is pregnant with Charlie's baby and give the other guys a chance. Ryan who can only speak in fourth grade rhymes? Russ who is so needy he looks like a sweaty crack addict in need of a fix? I don't think so. For sure, Charlie is the best of the bunch. If only he'd stop combing his hair back à la Danny Zucko. Au naturel, my potentially studly friend.

Well, at least New York ''importer'' Greg is gone. Of course, from the look on Trista's face when she saw his studio apartment, you sort of knew he was outta there. ''I honestly try not to be superficial,'' she said as she walked into his pad and her face conveyed the horror of witnessing genocide. An East Village one-room pad ain't no Encino mansion. Greg should have stuck with the cheesy Little Italy restaurant and some Central Park play and called it a day. And speaking of calling it a day, Greg, never ever -- and I mean never ever -- rap again.

It's all too obvious Russ is the next to get the boot. ''I'm on it. I know who I am. I'm very real'' he babbled on and on. Clearly not or he wouldn't need to buy Tiffany bracelets for Trista or insist that they're destined to be together. Chill out, brother. At least we might have the opportunity to see a full-on testosterone meltdown when he doesn't get a rose next week. Hmmm? am I sensing a Christi-Russ love connection?

And so it will be down to Charlie and Ryan. Though I mock his adolescent rhyming, I have to say Ryan has grown on me. He's sort of a sweet innocent guy who would be chewed up and spit out by Trista. Luckily, they'll both realize that since she shivers when the temperature drops below 75 degrees, they're not a couple.

Seeing the guy with his firefighter buddies was actually heartwarming. He's where he belongs and single women everywhere should be taking their ski vacations in Vail, Colo., and setting hotel rooms on fire. Okay, maybe not the pyro stuff, but he's a catch. A catch in serious need of a poetry workshop, but a catch nonetheless.

Ah, Charlie, our future ''winner.'' Trista felt the sparks as soon as he got out of the limo that first day. He's tall, dashing, real, nice. I must say I approve. If only his family did. ''It's different practicing therapy rather than running around having a good time,'' Charlie's mom Susan said. Susan rocks! I'm so over Trista talking on and on about how much she loves kids and therapy when she's spent the last year on dating game shows.

And exactly what part of dinner with Charlie's family did she find ''intellectually stimulating''? Was it when she told them all about her red strapless dress? Still, they actually seem like a decent couple. I don't see a marriage proposal happening at the end of the show, but they'll certainly fare better than the past two Bachelors did.

Do you think Charlie's the one or will it be Russ or Ryan?

Originally posted Jan 30, 2003