'True Blood' recap: Werewolves, Nazis, and an armadillo

After watching this episode, I felt like Bill looked at the beginning of the hour when he ripped off the ear of one of his werewolf ''escorts,'' the blood dripping down his chin. Things had gotten messy, and I liked it. This is why True Blood is perfect summer TV. Also because during the summer, without six other shows waiting on our DVRs, we have the time to pause for five minutes to examine the décor in someone's bathroom (Lafayette's) and to rewind a scene 10 times even if someone (Eric) isn't naked in it.

Let's start with Bill, in honor of him becoming at least 10 times more interesting since he's been kidnapped. Quickly, we established that werewolves are little match for a freshly fed, pissed off vampire. The King of Mississippi, Russell Edgington (Denis O'Hare), rode up on his horse just in time to save Cooter (''Cooter… Seriously?'') from suffering the same fate as three of his pack. Turns out, the wolves were working for the King, who asked them to escort Bill to his exquisitely lit mansion. They'd improvised when they drank from him. Hearing this, the King took out his gun and for a second, I thought we might have seen the last of Grant Bowler's upper body (which is looking even better than it did on Ugly Betty). However, if there's one thing we know about True Blood, it's that it'll keep around hot torsos as long as possible. So instead, the King shot and killed the guy whose ear Bill had bitten. Thank you, Alan Ball.

The King then escorted Bill by horseback to his mansion, where we met his partner, Talbot (Theo Alexander), who I'd put somewhere between Thom from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and Albert from The Birdcage. They showed Bill to his recently redecorated room, which comes with a bed that once belonged to a Hungarian countess/serial killer who was rumored to have tortured virgins and bathed in their blood, a 100 percent Sterling Silver door, and a constant guard/butler — which means Bill will be spending a lot of time in that room. Talbot feels like the kind of ancillary character who we could get attached to, only to mourn when he meets a sad end. I hope he sticks around for a long while, if only so I can see the menu at each formal dinner. Though, to be fair, how does one top cruelty-free chilled carbonated blood (''Note the citrusy finish: This one ate only tangerines for weeks''), warm blood bisque infused with rose petals (''Excuse me, gentlemen. I need to drain the second course… Carlo, bring me that Thai boy''), and blood gelato (insert Bill's eye roll)?

NEXT: Stop, drop, and roll, Lorena!