Dear Michael,
We're not criticizing — we think Oprah did a buff job interviewing you — it's just that we have a few follow-up questions of our own. Like:
*Who pays when you and Brooke are on a date?
*Who's the other woman you've loved?
*Where did you get that giant Oscar in your screening room? (The Academy is curious, too — it looks suspiciously like one stolen from their lobby in the mid-'80s.)
*Are you or have you ever been in psychotherapy?
*Why do you use light makeup rather than dark to even out your skin? And what brand of makeup is it?
*Why do you often wear the same shirt to different events? What does CTE mean on your epaulets?
*What's with the bandage on your arm and the tape on your fingers?
*Define gentleman.
*How often do you shave?
*C'mon, are you a virgin or not?
