Kathy Griffin
My Life on the D-List
''I'm a sweater, a sweater like Lamar Odom at the free-throw line during the final game of the playoffs. Yup, even my ass crack sweats. I may have to stuff it with one of Khloé Kardashian's absorbent tampons.''
Adam Scott
Parks and Recreation
''I enjoy being indoors. I enjoy laying on couches, snacking, and reading (watching TV). Summer sucks because it is the only season when, if I want to do this in the middle of a gorgeous day, people (my children) look at me like I'm a disgusting person. Well, guess what? It's 90 degrees out there, it's 68 degrees in here, and this episode of The Bachelorette isn't going to watch itself.''
Whitney Cummings
Comedian
''The heat makes me lethargic, so goodbye gym, goodbye waking up before noon, goodbye enthusiasm for anything. But I'd have to say the worst part of summer is swampy Spanx.''
John Oliver
The Daily Show
''The reason I think summer is terrible: I'm British. As a people, we cannot handle even the most moderate heat, either physically or emotionally. We were brought up believing that summer is for French people, with their outdoor lunches, sunglasses, and crunchy vegetables.''
Lisa Lampanelli
Comedian
''Crocs. Crocs are like the Real Housewives of New Jersey: They're loud, ugly, and plastic. Enough said!''
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