TV Article

Cult Feat

On ''Big Brother,'' Eric's scarily devoted disciples turn the house against the once-mighty Kaysar, but then we learn we can vote an evictee back in

VOTE EARLY, VOTE OFTEN Kaysar needs your support
Image credit: Kaysar Ridha: Cliff Lipson
VOTE EARLY, VOTE OFTEN Kaysar needs your support

''Big Brother'': Cappy's revenge

Once again, the Chen-bot host left me hanging with more questions than answers. I don't really give a hoot about what Jennifer would do with her winnings, nor do I care about April's letter from home or how Ivette fashioned a ''ghetto slide'' out of trash bags. (Though I would like to know her technique for making ghetto wedgies, just so I can turn around and pull a few on her once she leaves the house. I swear, if I see her cry over Cappy one more time...) All I wanted to hear out of Glitter Girl is an answer to this: How many times am I allowed to vote for Kaysar on CBS.com over the next seven days?

America's going to join me, right? I get a sense from the TV Watch message board that you all love Kaysar and despise Eric, but what about the millions of unenlightened viewers who watch BB6? What if — God forbid — there's an angry contingent of ethnocentrics out there who will vote for Eric simply because they want to take some perverted stand against Muslims? Let's be honest: There are some damn crazy people out there, and I'm not just talking about the few who may like Eric.

Let's assume we get our way and Kaysar (yes!) makes a triumphant return. Will he actually be welcomed with open arms by his former teammates? I was fully expecting a split vote last night that would have required Maggie to break the tie, but almost everyone from Kaysar's team turned against him in the 7-1 vote (with Rachel or Howie likely providing the lone dissenting voice).

I don't quite understand what goodwill his team thought they bought with Maggie and Co. by voting to evict Kaysar, but it won't last. The house is still divided, as evidenced by the head of household competition and Sarah, Howie, and Rachel's obvious eagerness to get the gals (plus Beau) out of the competition. But I'm going to give Howie the benefit of the doubt as the new HOH. Unlike Kaysar and Maggie, Howie seems capable of looking at the bigger picture and seeing how important it is to break up the partnerships — something Kaysar should have urged Maggie to do on Tuesday when he approached her in the gym and tried to get her to put up Jennifer. Say what? What Kaysar should have done was point out how Maggie naively aligned herself with two sets of partners who will most certainly target her once Kaysar's team is toast. How long does Maggie honestly expect to last opposite Beau-Ivette and Jennifer-April?

Oh yes, April. That reminds me — someone please shoot me if I should ever publicly thank Kmart for the best birthday ever.

Okay, back to the show. I'm thinking Howie will mix it up on Saturday and put up Jennifer (to make it look like he's still gunning for Cappy's kids) and James (because he honestly has to go). My guess is that James will finally eat it, because ''he's dead'' to Ivette, who, like everyone else on that side, seems unable to get over the fact he swore on the Bible that he would put up Rachel and Howie if he were to ever become HOH. Now I appreciate the Good Book just as much as any other Catholic, but I don't care that James lied on it to save his skinny arse. I will, however, feel sorry for him the day he returns home to his God-fearing mother, who will probably use that crucifix on her wall to slap him upside the head. Lordie, did you see the size of that thing?

A final thought — and this is one time I could use some help from the folks who watch the feed, because I decided not to stay up late this summer in front of my computer. (I know, my bad.) I have a sneaking suspicion we're only seeing one-tenth of Ivette's ugly side and mouth. I think she's a helluva lot worse during the off-hours and ends up casting more aspersions on her fellow houseguests then CBS' standards-and-practices department would care to have us hear. I could be wrong, but something just tells me otherwise.

And Ashlea, girl, why'd you bolt?

So what do you think? Will Kaysar prevail in the vote? Will Howie be the first HOH to nominate a pair of partners? How many more times do you think Sarah can tell James that she loves him before he puts a gun to his head? And what does this text code mean to you: 22788, No. 3?

Until next week, people, get out the vote — for Kaysar!

Originally posted Aug 04, 2005
Advertisement

Today's Most Popular

  1. Photo Gallery: American Music Awards 2014 American Music Awards '14: We grade the performances
  2. Photo Gallery: American Music Awards 2014 American Music Awards 2014 style: What the stars wore

From Our Partners