'Big Brother'

Fake Out

Did ''BB'' really think we?d fall for that? When the show hammered it in that Erika was gonna be cut, Dalton Ross just KNEW that Michelle would be the one to go

Big Brother | TEEN PLAYER Michelle got voted out this week, despite wearing an edible bathing suit
Image credit: Michelle:
TEEN PLAYER Michelle got voted out this week, despite wearing an edible bathing suit

Did ''BB'' really think we?d fall for that fake out?

Isn't it awesome when someone tells you they think you're an idiot? Well, that's basically what the CBS network did to its millions of ''Big Brother'' fans this week. Apparently producer Arnold Shapiro assumes that people who spend three hours a week watching idiots on television must be idiots themselves and, while I can't necessarily argue with his logic, I can argue that he could at least give us a LITTLE credit. I mean, could they have hammered it home any more all week?

''Erika's a goner!'' ''It's going to be unanimous!'' ''Michelle is as safe as Rickey Henderson stealing second base!'' They started this charade on Tuesday's broadcast, with Jee talking about how it was a 100 percent done deal, and then they kept showing him on Wednesday talking about how it was going to be unanimous. Apparently not satisfied that they had completely sold their lame misdirection, they proceeded to show diary comments and votes that were all pro Michelle and anti Erika up until the final minute, when we finally heard from Jack and David.

And then in her private chat with Jee, Julie Chen had to take it even one step FURTHER. She asked, ''Do you think it will be that close?'' about the upcoming vote, just so we could hear him talk ONE MORE TIME about what a landslide it would be in voting Erika out. Even for Julie Chen, this loaded and leading question was pathetic. The big question is, did one person out there actually fall for all of this? This was a classic reality-show pump fake, and the more this charade wore on, the more obvious it became that Michelle was the one who was a goner.

In fact, the only thing I found shocking about the whole thing was how they just sat there and let a teenager sob on national television during her exit interview with Ms. Chen. Classy, classy move. Almost as creepy as when Julie started hitting on Nathan and inquiring about his bench pressing. Ewwwwwwww.

So, Michelle got played, but better her gone than Erika. Yes, Michelle modeled the latest in ''Big Brother'''s now annual food-product-based bikini line, but while she may have been good for eye candy she wasn't very good for drama. I'd much rather have Erika around to mix it up with Robert for a couple more weeks than a boring Tara Reid look-alike.

Speaking of mixing it up, we can expect lots of wacky shenanigans now that neurotic Dana has won Head of Household. Part of me was rooting for Justin in that weak trivia game, mostly just as props for Jack's comment during Duck Ball that, ''Justin really parlayed the ass grab to an art form,'' because anyone's that's mastered the ass grab deserves a little somethin'-somethin'. But Dana's victory does ensure that more fireworks are likely to fly.

As for the other players, if they want to stay in this game, all they need to do is follow one simple rule: DO NOT HOOK UP WITH DAVE!!! Just ask Michelle and Amanda. And who knows, maybe Scott, too.

Originally posted Jul 24, 2003
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