''Big Brother 5'': Holly gets a surprise heave-ho
''Big Brother,'' you wicked, untamed he-devil, I adore you. Granted, I didn't feel this way 24 hours before Thursday's show, when I had the chance to log on to the ''Big Brother'' chat rooms but actually picked up a book instead. What's wrong with me? Better yet, what's been wrong with this interminably boring and predictable cast? And yet look at me now, writing this column like the wind so I can jump on CBS.com and find out who won the Head of Household competition. (As of 10:40 p.m., Pacific Time, Scott, Karen, Cowboy, and Nakomis were off their platforms while Jase, Marvin, Will, Adria, and Diane were still holding their buttons.)
Going into last night's eviction, I couldn't have been alone in thinking the vote was a fait accompli. There was no way Jase and his band of merry men would decide to drop that hairball Holly over Adria, whom Drew had chosen to replace Nakomis on the chopping block after the latter brilliantly saved herself in the Golden Veto competition. Why Drew put up Adria over the seemingly suicidal Diane is beyond me. Jase and Scott were so clearly over Diane, and she didn't do herself any favors on Tuesday by basically admitting in the kitchen that it was the girls against the guys. (It's not like it was a major revelation, mind you, but sister sledge handled this confrontation so poorly I almost couldn't blame Jase for ripping her a new butthole and bringing her to tears. Again.)
But Diane dodged the bullet because Drew clearly has a thing for her. Adria, one of the strongest players, was the obvious choice. Adria knew it too, which is why she spent the rest of her days quoting the Bible and weeping to anyone who cared. ''She just needed to open her pores out,'' said a sympathetic Cowboy.
It worked, too. Scott, Marvin, Cowboy, and Drew turned around and accused Jase of thinking with his crotch instead of his head, which led to a surprising 7 to 1 vote to oust Blondie. Hell, yeah!
Then leave it to Julie Chen to take the wind out of our sails in the posteviction interview by treating Ms. Helium as if she were some newsmaker on ''The Early Show'' when she was nothing more than a bimbo act gone bad. Ask her a hard question already, like whether she's actually embarrassed to be alive. Why does this part of the show always have to blow?
Anyway, Karen's gotta improve her game substantially, because it just feels like she's the next to go. Marvin is proving to be an even better floater than Adria and could actually outplay the hens -- something we at EW wouldn't mind because he keeps the sound bites coming. Yet Scott may have finally given him a run for his money last night when he admitted to Julie that he ''screws the pooch every week'' in the HOH competitions. That's right -- ''screws the pooch.'' During the 8-9 p.m. family hour, no less. Who needs Nipplegate when we've got Scott?
What do you think? Will Holly be missed?