EW's Special Coverage

Big Brother

TV Article

The Lunk Flunks

On ''Big Brother,'' girl power beats horsepower as Scott is unseated and the twins come out of the closet

WHERE'S THE BEEFCAKE? Jocky Scott had no game
Image credit: Scott Long: Tony Esparza
WHERE'S THE BEEFCAKE? Jocky Scott had no game

''Big Brother 5'': Horseman Scott is unseated

I didn't think it possible, but ''Big Brother'' convinced me otherwise: Scott is actually human. This same guy -- so repugnant for his nasty trash talk and preening in the front of the bathroom mirror -- actually had me believing he was a fairly decent person during his final moments in the house. That goodbye speech! He never wavered, he never stuttered -- just went on sweetly about the good time he had and how much he cared for Cowboy (after, of course, setting the houseguests straight that he really loved the women). Oh Scott, we hardly knew ye! But one of the Four Horsemen had to go. Besides, I really wasn't ready to say so long to Marvin -- if only for the thrice-weekly gems that pop out of his cigar-chomping mouth. (Tuesday's jewel: ''Scott told Cowboy to put a sweater on. Cowboy said, 'Are we going somewhere or am I cold?''')

If only the Twin Twist reveal had been as satisfying. Oh sure, it was delightful watching the houseguests' reaction to learning that Adria and Natalie had been fooling them all along, but not half as fun as seeing Cowboy declare idiotically and repeatedly on live TV that it was Holly who had the secret twin (and to think he's got a fiancée somewhere saying, ''Oh, my little sweetie is so gosh darn learned,'' and actually meaning it). If only ''BB'' could have really shocked the houseguests by quietly dropping Natalie on the patio while Adria was twiddling her thumbs in the john. Imagine watching Cowboy finishing his conversation with one only to be completely humdingered by the other when he walks in to take a pee. Priceless! Instead, it was another ''BB'' moment squandered on Julie Chen, who revealed the twist while wearing what was quite possibly her craziest getup yet. She was sporting a freakin' tail, people!

Scott, in his exit interview, could have been right when he said Natalie was a likely target for eviction the following week -- until Nakomis easily won HOH (after last week's brilliant over-nine-hour competition, this little memory contest was undeniably lame). Nakomis would sooner style her hair like her goofy half-brother Cowboy than put up a fellow Gay Mafia member -- which obviously explains the look of doom on Jase's face at the end.

And let's take a moment to discuss Jase. I worry for the boy. Not three days from now, mind you, but a year or so down the line, when he's shopping at Sharper Image for a neck massager or something and the shopkeeper won't sell it to him because she saw his clucking-chicken routine during that long HOH competition and seriously wonders whether he'd do something dangerous with her merchandise. I'm not kidding, people. Is he completely out of his mind? ''I'm here to make good TV,'' he told Julie last night. Don't you mean freaky TV, dude?

Back to Nakomis. There's been some crazy talk on the ''BB'' feeds that Nakomis is hatching some six-point plan in which one of the Gay Mafia (the gals and Will) gets Head of Household and puts up two of their own for eviction. Stay with me here. The entire mafia then has to dominate in the Golden Veto competition, thus insuring a win to replace one of theirs with one of the Horsemen (who would then get the drop kick come eviction time). There are several problems with this strategy, starting with the very real fact that nothing ever plays out as it should come game time. (There are even conspiracy theorists out there who believe Diane threw the last Golden Veto contest because she didn't stick all of her coins in Jase's pig.) Still, my money's on Nakomis and the very real possibility that she'll put Jase up for eviction next week -- just so he can seek the help he so desperately needs.

What did you think? Will the Horsemen be riding off into the sunset?

Originally posted Aug 06, 2004