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You Look Marv-less

After the special extra-eviction ''Big Brother,'' mortician Marvin is six feet under, leaving all alliances shattered and wily Nakomis facing duplicitious Drew

Big Brother | BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? The dearly departed Marvin
Image credit: Marvin Latimer: Tony Esparza
BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? The dearly departed Marvin

''Big Brother'': Mortician Marvin is six feet under

Clearly, Ms. Chen didn't feel like doing a live show over the long Labor Day weekend. No, it was much more convenient to tape the next nomination and eviction ceremony a mere day after the last one aired Thursday and give viewers the impression they were watching a live eviction Saturday. How lame was that episode? And how lame was it that, thanks to the live Web feed, many people knew by Friday morning that Marvin was the next evictee?

It doesn't matter, really. Nothing could have eased the pain of watching the Great Black Hope leaving the BB house for good. Why can't African-American men catch a break on reality shows? If they're not portrayed as comic relief (Marvin and BB3's Marcellas) or slackers (Survivor: Pearl Island's Osten), they're written off as stereotypically sex-starved men (Survivor: Thailand's Ted) who really can't do the job at the end of the day (The Apprentice's Kwame). I liked Marcellas, but I loved and respected Marvin's level of play this summer. He deserved a place in the winner's circle -- not Drew or Diane, who clearly have a fast pass to the $500K prize. I'm so dizzy with disgust right now. Or maybe I'm dizzy because I just came from a party where they served these mango vodka thingies that left me feeling frisky. Frankly, I'm not sure.

Anyway, all I can say is, if CBS wants to squeeze some extra ratings out of this now-aging franchise, it might consider developing a companion show called Hell House: The Big Brother Jury. I don't know about you, but I'd much prefer a 24/7 peek at that tropical cabana, where Will and the twins have surely stirred up some colossal catfight by now. And just wait until the big dog arrives!

Clearly, we have only Nakomis to root for at this stage in the game. How in good faith can we support Diane, so completely clueless as to fall for the ''I'm just acting'' crap that Drew dished out last night? I don't know whether to ridicule her or pity her when it comes to Razor Rick -- though I never believed a real-life romance was brewing between the two, and not just because he allegedly had a girlfriend waiting for him back home. Bottom line: Anyone who's moronic enough to think he or she can cultivate a love connection in the BB house deserves to be duped, so Diane had it coming. But that doesn't mean I want to see Drew win either.

Once again, let's pow-wow about Nakomis' chances. As the new Head of Household, she needs to drop-kick Drew once and for all, but the key is convincing Diane that her boy toy is nothing more than a airhead dude with a lifetime supply of disposable Bics. Cowboy could be the decoy this week, but Karen could buck that bronco and go for Drew instead. And Julie could actually wear a blouse that covers her shoulders, but then we couldn't appreciate what a tan and serious journalist she can be.

What do you think? Will you be starvin' for Marvin?

Originally posted Sep 05, 2004