The Year that was

This was the Year that ... Everybody Broke Up

This past year was a tough year for lovers as some long-term Hollywood couples called it quits

We can't know for sure, but it wouldn't surprise us if Katie Holmes had been reading Socrates on June 29 just before she blindsided Tom Cruise by filing for divorce. ''The hottest love has the coldest end,'' the ancient Greek philosopher said more than 2,000 years ago. (Way to be prescient about Hollywood relationships, if not about the downfall of your country's monetary system, Socrates!) Indeed, 2012 was characterized by an epic frost in the love department, as some of the most high-profile pairs met chilly demises. Some made us angry: Johnny Depp, don't leave your cute gap-toothed partner to her ''singing'' career! Kristen Stewart, why'd you have to cheat on Robert Pattinson with the skeezy older guy? Peter Facinelli, are you not aware you're married to Kelly Taylor? Others just made us really, really sad: R.I.P. to the appropriately sized coupling of Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman, dream funny couple Will Arnett and Amy Poehler, and reality TV rose guru Chris Harrison and his former bachelorette. Still others reminded us of people we'd forgotten existed, but then felt mildly sorry for. (Bummer, k.d. lang and the domestic partner you met through your Buddhism teacher.) ''We're going through a very tumultuous time,'' says The Millionaire Matchmaker's Patti Stanger, who begins her sixth season of helping high-income-bracket singletons in January on Bravo. ''We live in a disposable time, where there's always fresher, better, greener grass.''

This year's breakups also went beyond the marital contract. On TV, no one wanted to stay together, whether Kurt and Blaine or Rachel and Finn on Glee, or Peggy Olson and the boys at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce on Mad Men. In the tabloid world, there was a drastic separation between certain starlets and their sanity (for legal reasons, we can't say we're looking directly at you, Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan). So where does that leave the concept of a lasting union as we head into 2013? ''Everyone thinks they know what they want when they want it,'' says Stanger. We're unsure of what that means, but we're pretty certain it's profound. ''If you want a relationship to last, you have to know the beast you're dealing with.'' Perhaps that's why some twosomes reconciled. R-Pattz and K-Stew resumed their lovey-dovey ways, as evidenced by their his-and-hers sullen faces during the Twilight media blitz. And DeVito and Perlman appear to be renewing their love lease in the land of the pocket-size, according to People magazine. Just goes to show you that Socrates may have been wise, but we should look to other philosophers for the definitive word on romance. ''Reunited,'' said the scholars Peaches and Herb. ''And it feels so good.''

Originally posted Dec 21, 2012 Published in issue #1239-1240 Dec 28, 2012 Order article reprints
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