''Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious.''
Rachel (Jennifer Aniston), after sexually active monkey Marcel attacked her toy, on Friends
''Over the weekend, Howard Cosell was pronounced dead. He
immediately argued that the doctor was in no position to make
Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect
''Postal officials say you don't have to lick the Nixon stamp.
You just wipe the sweat off the front and apply it to the back.''
Dennis Miller on Dennis Miller Live
''Our old friend Shirley MacLaine has a birthday today. Sixty-one
years old. And also 185, 496, 1,278.''
David Letterman on Late Show