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Sound Bites

Sound Bites

''Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious.''
Rachel (Jennifer Aniston), after sexually active monkey Marcel attacked her toy, on Friends

''Over the weekend, Howard Cosell was pronounced dead. He immediately argued that the doctor was in no position to make that call.''
Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect

''Postal officials say you don't have to lick the Nixon stamp. You just wipe the sweat off the front and apply it to the back.''
Dennis Miller on Dennis Miller Live

''Our old friend Shirley MacLaine has a birthday today. Sixty-one years old. And also 185, 496, 1,278.''
David Letterman on Late Show

Originally posted May 12, 1995 Published in issue #274 May 12, 1995 Order article reprints