MY BIG FAT HAWAIIAN WEDDING Joey Tribbiani may not be the sharpest crayon in the box, but Matt LeBlanc had a bright idea when it came to keeping the paparazzi from hovering in helicopters over his Kauai wedding on Saturday to longtime fiancée Melissa McKnight: He reportedly rented every chopper on the island himself. Still, the clifftop ceremony was buzzed by three helicopters and one biplane, according to the Honolulu Star-Bulletin. Another secrecy measure: The baker who made the four-tiered passion-fruit wedding cake for the party of 150 guests baked it at home. (Also on the menu: mahi-mahi, grilled tuna, and oysters.)
Other sources of intrigue: not who attended, but who didn't. Lisa Kudrow and her husband came; so did Courteney Cox and David Arquette (he apparently spent the weekend taking surfing lessons). Jennifer Aniston was there, skipping the press junket for her upcoming movie ''Bruce Almighty,'' but husband Brad Pitt was apparently away, doing pre-production on the epic ''Troy.'' Good thing, since his ex-fiancée, Gwyneth Paltrow, and her beau, Coldplay's Chris Martin, were vacationing on Kauai. It's not clear if they attended the wedding, but a Paltrow-Aniston tete-a-tete is something we'd have liked to see.
THEIR KIND OF TOWN Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer were absent, citing their theatrical commitments. Perry's London production of David Mamet's ''Sexual Perversity in Chicago'' began previews on Saturday (opening night is May 14). Clearly, the play is a labor of love for him, since he's not doing it for the modest salary he's earning. According to the San Francisco Examiner, he's rented out three adjacent penthouses in London's upscale Mayfair section, at a cost of $5,000 per night, or nine times what he's getting paid. Of course, he earns $1 million for each half-hour of ''Friends,'' so we think he can afford it.
Schwimmer is doing theater in Chicago (the real city); he's preparing a staging of his adaptation of Studs Terkel's book ''Race'' that opens next month. He apparently did spend some time last week with LeBlanc in Hawaii but flew back to the Windy City before the wedding. On Saturday night, according to the Chicago Sun-Times, he was hosting a benefit ball for his theater company, with 1,000 revelers dressed in ''Alice in Wonderland''-inspired costumes.
On Monday, Schwimmer visited his alma mater, Northwestern University, where he kicked off an alumni speakers' series. As a student, he recalled, ''Basically, I was a self-absorbed d---.'' He urged the audience of 1,000 students not to follow his example but to volunteer and serve the community, the Daily Northwestern reported. After the 20-minute speech, he answered questions for an hour, including what it's like to make out with Jennifer Aniston. (''It's very nice,'' Schwimmer said.) When asked whose fault it was when Ross and Rachel broke up (after Ross had a one-night stand), Schwimmer gave the classic, oft-repeated Ross answer: ''Look, we were on a break.''