Ted Written by, directed by, and costarring the wildly successful Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane as the voice of the title character, Ted is defiantly what-you-see-is-what-you-get:… Ted Written by, directed by, and costarring the wildly successful Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane as the voice of the title character, Ted is defiantly what-you-see-is-what-you-get:… 2012-06-29 R PT106M Comedy Mila Kunis Seth MacFarlane Giovanni Ribisi Mark Wahlberg Universal Pictures
Movie Review

Ted (2012)

MPAA Rating: R
SNARKY STUFFED ANIMAL Mark Wahlberg can't get rid of his foul-mouthed childhood toy in Ted
SNARKY STUFFED ANIMAL Mark Wahlberg can't get rid of his foul-mouthed childhood toy in Ted
EW's GRADE
C+

Details Release Date: Jun 29, 2012; Rated: R; Length: 106 Minutes; Genre: Comedy; With: Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane, Giovanni Ribisi and Mark Wahlberg; Distributor: Universal Pictures

Written by, directed by, and costarring the wildly successful Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane as the voice of the title character, Ted is defiantly what-you-see-is-what-you-get: a proudly coarse idiot comedy in which Mark Wahlberg plays a 35-year-old guy named John — Jawn, to do his chowder-y Boston accent justice — whose best friend since childhood has been Ted, a pot-smoking, horny teddy bear with a blank face and a foul mouth. John has a patient babe of a girlfriend in Lori (super-game, saucer-eyed dream date Mila Kunis). But after four years of herculean tolerance, Lori is getting tired of Ted's loutishness and the whole three's-company deal in the apartment — APAHTment — they all share. Predictably, breaking up with Ted and growing the eff up isn't easy for boy-man John. He may be 35, but he's got the life skills of a 9-year-old.

Fans of the MacFarlane thumbscrew touch — sexual raunch, vulgarity, gleeful political incorrectness, mocking pop culture references — get what they pay for here. The bear is aggressively boorish. John is a poster schlub for arrested development. A slapdash subplot involving bearnapping (and Giovanni Ribisi) adds nothing. The picture looks schlubby too — all muddy colors, bad interior decor, hectic pacing, and joyless scenes in which this clunky, inexpressive CG-animated fuzz-toy goes postal.

And yet. And yet, Gawd help me, the always surprising Mark Wahlberg throws himself into his thespian adventure with such radiant wacko energy, so full of Boston beans, that Ted is also kind of, well, impressively nuts. Kunis is cute. Celebrities who shouldn't have bothered turn up for a couple of nifty punchlines. So even though MacFarlane insistently references the cheesy 1980 sci-fi flick Flash Gordon like an annoying, obsessive child, and even though a lot of the movie is grating dumb-assery, it's something to behold. Stuffed with crap, but something. C+

Originally posted Jun 27, 2012 Published in issue #1214 Jul 06, 2012 Order article reprints
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Weekend of Sep 14 Box Office Source: Rentrak Corp.
Rank Title Weekend Gross* Weeks on Chart Cume. Gross* EW Grade
1.
No Good Deed
Screen Gems
$24.5 1 $24.5 C
2.
Dolphin Tale 2
Warner Bros.
$16.5 1 $16.5 C+
3.
Guardians of the Galaxy
Walt Disney Pictures
$8.0 7 $305.9 A-
4. $4.8 6 $181.0 C+
5. $4.3 5 $73.0 F
6.
The Drop
Fox Searchlight
$4.2 1 $4.2 B
7.
If I Stay
Warner Bros.
$4.0 4 $44.9 C-
8.
The November Man
Relativity
$2.7 3 $22.5 C
9.
The Giver
Weinstein Co.
$2.6 5 $41.3 C-
10.
The Hundred-Foot Journey
Walt Disney Pictures
$2.5 6 $49.4 B
* in millions

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