1 White House denies online petition to build a Death Star, citing $850 quadrillion cost: ''This isn't the petition response you're looking for'' ''Obi-Wan has taught you well,'' replied Darth Vader. ''But I find your lack of funding disturbing.''
2 Brad Pitt reportedly will star in Cadillac commercials in China They'll be in Mandarin without subtitles so still easier to understand than his Chanel No. 5 ads.
3 Hardcover edition of Fifty Shades of Grey hits stores on Jan. 29 It's good news for women seeking a little more impact when they hit their husbands with the book and ask, ''Why can't you be more like Christian?''
4 Seth Rogen to guest on The Mindy Project as summer camper who gave Mindy Kaling her first kiss It's rumored to have been so magical, she exhaled a plume of smoke.
5 Kmart to launch Nicki Minaj clothing line ''Nip slip into something more comfortable!''
6 Honey Boo Boo digital comic book released with her as superhero on cover You wouldn't like her when she's eating mayonnaise.
7 Soon-to-be-divorced Bethenny Frankel on CBS Sunday Morning: ''I chose to share the highs. So I had to choose to share the lows'' ''And speaking of lows,'' she added, ''try my new low-calorie Sadgirl Margarita.''
8 Steven Spielberg delays sci-fi saga Robopocalypse Or to translate for our future robot overlords: 0101011110110! (10010001, amiright?)
9 Rande Gerber finds wife Cindy Crawford in bed with George Clooney in Casamigos tequila ad titled ''It Could Happen, Please Drink Responsibly'' It could? Then why would I drink responsibly???
10 Taylor Swift and Harry Styles break up Sorry if that headline looks a little weird. Still working out the kinks of this new find-and-replace program.