Mindy Lahiri has kissed, conservatively, 120 men. Mindy Kaling has kissed, generously, 20 men.
Mindy Lahiri dries her Spanx in the oven. Mindy Kaling dries her Spanx by leaving them all over her house.
Mindy Lahiri has never cooked anything in her life. Mindy Kaling makes an excellent breakfast sandwich (and nothing else).
Mindy Kaling looks both ways before she crosses the street. Mindy Lahiri walks into traffic, counting on it stopping for her.
Mindy Lahiri would consider jumping into the subway to retrieve her phone. Mindy Kaling would not.
Mindy Lahiri would wait in line four hours to meet James Franco. Mindy Kaling would have James Franco on her show.
Mindy Lahiri wears matching bra and underwear, without exception. Mindy Kaling has never owned matching underwear.