Within moments of (possibly) arriving on Earth from the titular planet K-PAX, Prot (Kevin Spacey) finds himself incarcerated with a bunch of ''wacky'' mental patients and a jaded-but-redeemable shrink (Jeff Bridges). You know -- the kind who sneaks a peek at the clock while listening to a patient. The idea is that the uncannily people-friendly alien, who says there is no such thing as family on K-PAX, inspires the doc to become a better man.
The healing process falls flat, though, because the shrink's family, like the rest of the cast, is out-of-this-world phony. Kids laugh at the word ''K-PAX'' as if it's inherently funny. The doc's brow-furrowing wife (Mary McCormack) bonds with Prot as if he's an alien Dr. Phil. None of the suburban angst hits home, and you'll be as bored as the story -- which begins as a doctor-patient drama -- veers to in-da-nuthouse black comedy before sinking into rote tick-tock suspense thriller.
It's as if the makers of this ''Choose Your Own Adventure''-style think piece hope that you've forgotten the dewy-soft alien of ''Starman,'' the nuances of ''One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest,'' and the tragic yearning of ''Awakenings.'' Maybe on K-PAX, but on Earth? Never.
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