Prepare for fall's weirdest TV pilots | 18344__fox_l
FOX 'HAUNTED' The ''Party of Five'' hunk sees dead people
Matthew Fox: Armando Gallo/Retna Ltd.

CASTING OUCH As the folks who made John Goodman a gay dad know, errors in casting crucial roles can doom a show faster than you can say, ''Normal, Ohio.'' ABC's ''With You in Spirit'' -- about a recent college grad who gets a job at a TV station in Spirit, New Mexico (get it? get it?) – sounds serviceable, except it stars abrasive former ''SNL'' cheerleader Cheri Oteri as ''Montana, the Weather Girl.'' Similarly, the WB's ''Way Downtown'' may be a perfectly fine female ensemble comedy, but it'll definitely push the limits of un-reality TV when Tori Spelling tries to pass herself off as a struggling young writer. Then there's Fox's ''John Doe,'' a standard amnesiac-searching-for-his-identity thriller with one twist: It includes a supporting character who's a bartender/mentor named Ripper, played by Meat Loaf. Oh, right -- lose your identity; go to Meat Loaf for help.

PREMISES, PREMISES A completely nonsensical plot may be the key to getting a pilot made, which may explain why the following concepts actually made it past the pitch stage:

''Lefty'' (CBS): That's Father Lefty to you. He's an unorthodox, two-fisted, big-city priest, one whose best pals are all women. Aside from the fact that, these days, churchgoers are leery of unorthodox priests, this one has the bonus of being the brainchild of Sylvester Stallone.

''Hack'' (CBS): ''St. Elsewhere'''s David Morse returns to TV as an ex-cop, drummed out of the force and now driving a taxi, who still manages to solve crimes. No doubt reviewers will be unable to resist punning on the title.

''The Haunted'' (UPN): ''Party of Five'''s Matthew Fox resurfaces as a man who was clinically dead for five minutes but is revived. Coming back from Limbo, he brings with him several ghosts. And they help him solve crimes. Which seems to prove that dead men really do tell tales.

''Sun Gods'' (ABC): Comedy about solar-paneling salespeople. No word on whether they solve crimes.


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