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REEL DEALS After he finishes shooting the movie version of Philip Roth's novel ''The Human Stain,'' with Anthony Hopkins and Nicole Kidman, director Robert Benton plans to write and shoot an adaptation of ''Appointment in Samarra,'' the classic John O'Hara novel about decadence and self-destruction among the country club set. (Think of it as a 1930s version of ''The Ice Storm.'') Previous Benton literary adaptations include ''Nobody's Fool,'' ''Billy Bathgate,'' and ''Kramer vs. Kramer.''...
If Michael Caine got a royalty check everytime one of his movies got remade, he'd be, well, even richer. There was Sylvester Stallone's recent update of ''Get Carter,'' and the upcoming remake of ''The Italian Job,'' to star Mark Wahlberg. Now, director Charles Shyer (''The Affair of the Necklace,'' the ''Father of the Bride'' movies) wants to remake ''Alfie,'' the 1966 film that gave Caine his starmaking role as a philosophical womanizer. No word yet on who might play the lothario, or whether Shyer plans to recycle the boffo theme song that was a hit for Dionne Warwick....
Neither of screenwriter Tony Gayton's features has opened yet, but he already has a deal for a third movie. The writer of this week's Sandra Bullock thriller ''Murder By Numbers'' and the upcoming ''The Salton Sea'' with Val Kilmer, Gayton has signed to do a third movie, a heist drama called ''Air Tight,'' with Stephen Herek (''Rock Star'') in talks to direct for Castle Rock.
Another heist project is in the works at Paramount. But in ''The Perfect Score,'' the thieves are high schoolers, and their loot is SAT answers. Teen fare filmmakers Brian Robbins and Michael Tollin (''Varsity Blues,'' ''Summer Catch'') are producing, with Erika Christensen (''Traffic'') and Scarlett Johansson (''Ghost World'') in talks to star....
Disney is making its third version of ''Freaky Friday,'' the body-switch comedy based on the Mary Rodgers' novel about a mom and daughter who magically trade places for a day. (The 1977 film starred the young Jodie Foster and Barbara Harris; the 1995 TV version had Gaby Hoffman and Shelley Long.) No word who would play the leads this time, but the director is likely to be Mark S. Waters, who knows from freaky families; his 1997 film ''The House of Yes'' starred Parker Posey and Josh Hamilton as incestuous siblings whose hobby was recreating the JFK assassination. That was a Disney film, too, sort of; it was released by Miramax.
TUBE TALK Forest Whitaker, currently on screen in ''Panic Room,'' is a fine actor and director. Couldn't be more different, in appearance and demeanor, from Rod Serling, but strange things happen in ''The Twilight Zone,'' which UPN is updating as a pilot for the fall. Whitaker will narrate the show, as Serling did on the original series, and he'll co-produce it as well. Again, Whitaker's a talented guy, but wouldn't creepy, otherwordly Christopher Walken have been perfect?
RETIRING Phyllis Diller ended her five-decade stand-up comedy career with what she said would be her last live performance this past Sunday. At California State University in Northridge, the 84-year-old comedian ran through her final 40-minute set of self-deprecating one-liners and zingers aimed at fictitious husband ''Fang.'' Diller has said she plans to keep busy writing and painting, but at least one pair of famous fans doesn't believe she's ready to call it a day. ''For the Queen of Comedy to just hang up her wigs and walk away, we don't think so,'' longtime friends Bob and Dolores Hope said in a statement. ''Put them in mothballs, maybe.'' Yeah, but when's the last time the 98-year-old Hope did his act?
