If there's anything missing from MTV's reality sitcom ''The Osbournes,'' it's Pat Boone, the foulmouthed family's former neighbor (remembered fondly by Sharon Osbourne on a recent episode). Though the show's theme song, ''Crazy Train,'' sounds a lot like Boone's tongue-in-cheek 1997 cover of Ozzy's metal classic, it's actually by Boone soundalike Lewis Lamedica. ''I'm flattered,'' says Boone, ''but I wish they had used me. I would have done it for free.''
Exec producer Greg Johnston laments, ''We never suspected Pat Boone would give us that.'' Despite the occasional loud party, the '50s popster has kind words for the Osbournes, who were his neighbors for three years before moving to their MTV-friendly pad elsewhere in Beverly Hills in 2001. ''I miss them terribly,'' says Boone, who regrets that he never invited the family over for dinner. ''Come back, Ozzy, come back!''