Power Launch

Image credit: V.I.P.: Columbia Pictures TV

BOMBSHELL Some may scoff at Stripperella's really obvious, borderline-albino dye job, but little do they know that with a shake of her white-hot head, Stripperella can disperse microscopic droplets of chlorine to instantly blind her totally annoying targets. Or mess up their clothes with bleach spots -- and that won't come out in the wash.

POLE VAULT One night when Stripperella was working a dental convention (and working it to Van Halen's ''Hot for Teacher''), she discovered her power to spin round the pole at the speed of light. She can whip up enough wind power to fly -- and drop-kick -- the daylights out of any dude, drunk or sober. She keeps a stripper's pole in her bedroom to stay at the peak of her powers. Oh, wait, that's Pam.

LAP DANCE FIGHTING (or THIGHS OF STEEL) (Well, you knew this one was coming.) After she takes a villain to the ''private lounge,'' Stripperella straddles the suddenly friendly enemy and wraps her legs around him. Just as the sucker submits to Strip's seductive prowess, she clamps her superstrong legs, thereby crushing him to oblivion, à la Famke Janssen's Bond beauty Xenia Onatopp. The difference between the two? Stripperella's on the side of good -- and sometimes she even gets a tip.

For more Pamela Anderson. See EW.com's photographic tour of her love life here