DARVA CONGER vs. OLGA KORBUT
Why Conger? She managed to keep octopus-armed Rick Rockwell at arm's length, so we know she's fast on her feet.
Why Korbut? Being 4'11'' has its advantages: She's just the right height to land a sucker punch to the gut.
Verdict We'll bet Korbut can still bust a move -- and besides, Miss I-just-want-my-privacy Conger deserves to be thrashed for hypocrisy.
Odds Korbut favored 2 to 1
DUSTIN ''SCREECH'' DIAMOND VS. RON ''HORSHACK'' PALILLO
Why Diamond? Despite their fine whines, geeks rarely improve with age, and Diamond's 28 years younger.
Why Palillo? Don't underestimate the grating donkey laugh.
Verdict Diamond has the advantage, but who cares? This one will be all about the squealing and sobbing on the ref's shoulder.
Odds Screech favored 3 to 2
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