Having made off with my prospects for public office, Snoop then proceeds to nab Stonys for Best Soundtrack (for The Wash) and Stoner of the Year. "Who else they gonna give it to?" he asks the adoring crowd. Who else, indeed?

Of course, by the time that happens, I've hightailed it out of there. You see, while drinks are plentiful at the Stonys, food is not--I can't locate so much as a Stoned Wheat Thin. And food, strangely, is what I really, really want right now.


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