'JP' PHONE HOME

Unlike the yellow satellite phone that saves Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill) from becoming dinosaur chow in Jurassic Park III, the rectangular red cellular JURASSIC PARK SURVIVAL PHONE--which is being given away with thousands of JPIII DVDs and videos--doesn't receive incoming calls or have a keypad (much less a distinctive, dino-alerting musical ring). Calls are instead made by voice command, and a computerized operator attempts to decipher the number--which works only if you're shrouded in silence. Granted, background noise isn't going to be your biggest problem if you're making an emergency call from Isla Sorna. But why save the 60 minutes of free nationwide talk time included with the phone for the day when you're fighting for your life? "Hi, Mom, just waiting for the rescue helicopter and thought I'd call..." No, the Jurassic Park Survival Phone is simply a prepaid calling card with a built-in antenna. And, just like the film, its greatest attribute is that it's both disposable and recyclable.