Dork Victory

Looking for love in all the wrong chat rooms? Meet Herb Zipper(herbzipper.com), the cyber-lovah who lives in a perpetual state of 1977, ''when sex was the way it was meant to be: empty and meaningless.'' And in his campy six-minute infomercial, Zipper -- who has ''slept'' with over 22,000 screen names -- will teach computer Casanovas how to dispense pickup lines, doctor less-than-flattering self-portraits, and even delete, er, break up online...just like he does. After watching the sometimes R-rated video (think of it as PC humor that is very un-PC), click on ''have cybersex now'' to engage in a humorous keyboard tryst with the portly prince of dork-love himself. Like the best SNL gags, ''How to Be a Cyber-Lovah'' is full of laughable stereotypes plucked from real life -- in this case, the life of its 32-year-old director, Keir Serrie, who first experimented with Web dating two years ago. Serrie soon realized that the fantasy of online hookups is far more satisfying than the reality. ''I would [eventually] meet these ladies,'' says the Florida State University film school grad-turned-Web designer, ''and either I would be shocked, or they would.'' But instead of getting angry, he got his comedic jollies with Herb Zipper -- and so will you.