Q The evolved primates in ''Planet of the Apes'' aren't scared of damn dirty humans, but they're terrified of water. Do apes really go bananas over H2O?

A There'll be no monkeying around in the deep end. ''Apes cannot swim,'' says Frans de Waal of Emory University's Yerkes Primate Center in Atlanta. ''There are apes who have drowned in knee-deep water.'' Of the four types of ''great apes,'' de Waal says orangutans and bonobos -- some have learned to wade through chest-deep water -- fare better than gorillas and chimps. Why the water woes? The expert thinks that either their dense muscles sink them or their front-tilted body weight makes it impossible for them to balance.


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