Simon Says

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You offer career advice to aspiring musicians in your upcoming book, ''The X Factor.'' Who should play you in the movie version?
I haven't got a clue. Somebody very good-looking.

Of today's successful pop stars, who wouldn't pass your audition?
Britney Spears. She had one of the best pop songs written for her of all time [''...Baby One More Time'']. Whoever got that record was going to have a massive hit. Without that song, we wouldn't have seen her in the same way.

In an arm-wrestling match between you and Anne Robinson, who would win?
I would because she's a 60-year-old woman.

Which audition song do you never want to hear again?
''I Believe I Can Fly.'' Also, Alicia Keys' ''Fallin'.'' Those are the two. We almost had to ban them. They are so dreary to listen to, I cannot tell you.

Are you still going around with bodyguards to protect yourself from disgruntled contestants?
The bodyguards are just there on the set. I try not to think about it too much. You should never be scripted or too thoughtful about what you are or are not going to do. If something happens, it happens.

Now that the competition has entered the phase where the viewers vote and your comments don't necessarily result in rejection, are the contestants any better at taking criticism?
We've had a few tears. It was like a bathroom in that bloody red room. When one cries, they all join in.