Perhaps your new Year's Eve plans involve a bunker, some canned goods, and an emergency generator. If not, may we suggest an alternative: celebrities! The last night before Y2K is bursting with big-name, once-in-a-millennium pop concerts for your apocalyptic listening pleasure. Let's count them down.
NOISEMAKERS Sting, Andrea Bocelli, Enrique Iglesias, Aretha Franklin, Joan Rivers, and others, at the Jacob Javits Center in New York City WHAT'S UNCORKING A 12-hour blowout with champagne and chichi food. At midnight all the artists will gather on stage to perform with an 85-piece orchestra. ''Sting wrote a millennium song, and we'll probably use that,'' says event organizer Steve Leber. TICKETS From $1,000 to $2,500.
NOISEMAKERS The Judds at America West Arena, Phoenix WHAT'S UNCORKING Yeehaw! Country's leading mother-daughter duo -- Naomi and Wynonna -- reunite after six years. Younger daughter Ashley will be emceeing the event. ''At mid- night Wynonna is going to shoot me out of a cannon,'' says Naomi. ''Right now I'm trying to find a safety helmet that won't mess up my hair.'' We hope she's joking. TICKETS $99 or $199 (the $299 seats are sold out).
NOISEMAKERS John Tesh at The Millennium Wall, Gisborne, New Zealand WHAT'S UNCORKING At one of the first sites on earth to see Y2K's first dawn, Tesh will hold a New Age sunrise concert in front of a one-kilometer-long granite monument. And you can watch it all live on QVC, where you can buy Tesh's album and other assorted goodies, including an etching of your name on the wall. Afterward, the seas will turn to blood and locusts will take over the earth. Tickets Free, once you're there.
NOISEMAKER Barbra Streisand at the MGM Grand Garden, Las Vegas WHAT'S UNCORKING Babs gambles on her first live performance in more than three years. ''I'm told that there will be surprise guests, but I don't know who they are,'' says Streisand publicist Dick Guttman, who adds that rumors of John Travolta joining the singer on stage are untrue. TICKETS $1,500 or $2,500 ($500 and $750 seats are sold out).
NOISEMAKER Michael Jackson in both Sydney, Australia, and Honolulu WHAT'S UNCORKING Can't get enough of Wacko Jacko? Plans are not yet finalized, but the pop star reportedly hopes to give a concert down under, then jet off to Hawaii for another Millennium Eve performance. The time difference makes the stunt possible. TICKETS Prices and on-sale dates haven't been announced.
NOISEMAKERS Celine Dion with Bryan Adams at the Molson Centre, Montreal WHAT'S UNCORKING Dion will bid the pop world adieu with this New Year's Eve ''Grand Finale.'' The performance will be her last before she goes on a professional hiatus, which reportedly could last for up to three years. TICKETS $399 and $499 tix are available, but cheaper seats are sold out.
NOISEMAKERS Hootie & the Blowfish, Styx, and the B-52's at Pleasure Island at Downtown Disney, Orlando, Fla. WHAT'S UNCORKING Plop the kiddies in front of a Little Mermaid video, and enjoy the lite rock and the ''elaborate'' buffet. TICKETS $250, which includes admission to the Island's eight nightclubs.
