EW.com
MODERN VAMPIRES
EW's GRADE
D+Details Rated: R; Genre: Horror; With: Casper Van Dien
Or, how I learned to stop watching and give up on cruddy straight-to-video vampire flicks. This outrageously horrendous movie keeps bouncing aimlessly between vapid bloodsucker Dallas' (''Starship Troopers''' Van Dien) return to L.A. from exile and a flabby Dr. Van Helsing (Rod Steiger) and his posse of gangbangers' hunt for the undead. Reel Goodies (0:33) Kim Cattrall, doing her best camp-vamp Zsa Zsa, gives Gregson Wagner's tramp-vamp a wire-brush bath. The Last Detail Director Richard Elfman enlisted his composer brother Danny (Batman) to score the main theme.
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