10 You've developed a parental attachment to your virtual shopping carts Babette, Nico, and Little Timmy.
9 Your ''Proceed to Check Out'' finger bleeds.
8 The phrase ''If you liked Parenthood, you'll love Boyz N the Hood'' makes sense.
7 You have a closet of brand-new clothes you never wearbecause you never go outside anymore.
6 You introduce yourself by your barnesandnoble.com code name, bookgurl5678. 5 You break up with your significant other to focus on your career. Now what was it you used to do? 4 You log on to Amazon.com and hear, ''He's baaack.''
3 You really need a new thermos, that Nolan Ryan Commemorative Knife Collection, and a fedora. No, seriously, really.
2 Paper money...so quaint.
1 When a friend suggests a trip to the mall, you call him ''a small-minded proletarian who cannot possibly grasp the cyber-revolution at hand.'' Then you ask him to buy you some deodorant.