''Howard Stern and his wife of 21 years are getting separated. So now it's official: All women hate Howard Stern.'' Chris Rock on The Chris Rock Show
''Mi Casio es su Casio.'' oz (Seth Green), lending a friend his stereo, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer
''Jerry Seinfeld couldn't be here tonight — he had a prior arrangement to f -- - a model on a pile of cash.'' Jeffrey Ross on Comedy Central's NY Friars Club Roast of Jerry Stiller
''We like to think of ourselves as the fatter, uglier versions of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.'' Kevin James, about himself and pal Ray Romano, on The Early Show
''But we rule the world.'' Jon Stewart, after Sporty Spice Melanie C complained that while Brits understand American accents, Americans can't understand theirs, on The Daily Show
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