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Forget Celebrity Deathmatch. For a truly perverse pop-culture pummeling, look no further than South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. Here are some star-bashing highlights, along with the filmmakers' degree of harshness. -- Brian M. Raftery

THE BALDWINS

CALAMITOUS CAMEO The brothers' swank compound is firebombed, launching a U.S.-Canadian war.

CRUELTY FACTOR Medium. Though the entire clan is wiped out, easy target Stephen -- usually the most-snickered-at sibling -- is never even mentioned, allowing his brothers to be the punchline for once.

BRIAN DENNEHY

CALAMITOUS CAMEO He interrupts an ode to skater Brian Boitano and goes unrecognized by the South Park gang.

CRUELTY FACTOR Medium. Dennehy -- told by Stan to ''Get the f -- - outta here'' -- could be the only Tony winner ever to have been cursed out by a cartoon character.

BILL GATES

CALAMITOUS CAMEO After a Windows-operated military system fails, the world's richest man is shot in the head.

CRUELTY FACTOR Harsh. But in a year that found Gates the subject of both a government antitrust bust-up and an Anthony Michael Hall TV movie, he's almost getting off easy here.

CONAN O'BRIEN

CALAMITOUS CAMEO The chat-fest host defenestrates and lands headfirst onto a parked car.

CRUELTY FACTOR Harsh. But if this had been during his first season, it would have been understandable.

WINONA RYDER

CALAMITOUS CAMEO Let's just say it involves Ping-Pong balls.

CRUELTY FACTOR Harsh -- until the crude feat is revealed as a gag. But her airheaded speech (''War, man. Wow.'') really bites.

BROOKE SHIELDS

CALAMITOUS CAMEO The Suddenly Susan star gets slapped by overly flatulent Canadian comic Terrance.

CRUELTY FACTOR Minimal, considering the Canuck's rather foul specialty.

SKEET ULRICH

CALAMITOUS CAMEO A poster with his pensive mug adorns the bedroom of lovebirds Satan and Saddam.

CRUELTY FACTOR None. Compared with Chill Factor, this is the best role he's had all year.


Posted Nov 26, 1999 | Published in issue #514 Nov 26, 1999 | Order Article Reprints